Reading about Miley Cyrus’s reaction to her parent’s separation did not surprise me. It is a common misconception that the older the children are the more they are able to cope with the separation of their parents.
Understanding how divorce affects teenagers is important for parents, common feelings are ones of betrayal and also feeling ‘lost’ albeit they are old enough to understand what is going on. Teenagers can feel both angry with the situation but also feel blame for the situation. It can be helpful to explain to the children that just as they were not responsible for you getting married neither are they responsible for the separation or divorce.
As parents it is so important to talk to your teenagers about your situation and explain to them that the problems that you are having as parents are not about the child/teenager. Separation or divorce does not mean that parents love their children any less but just relates to their feelings towards each other. Whatever happens in their marriage they will continue to be your parents – that relationship will never change.
It is important that parents aim towards working together in their new relationship as ‘co-parents’ and help their children to understand their feelings and try to forgive the parent they are angry with.
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