‘Exploratory Mediation’

Over the last few weeks I have had more enquiries from
couples wanting to attend a ‘one-off’ mediation session prior to
seeing their solicitors to establish what areas may be in dispute
and trying to narrow down the issues they may be potentially
litigate.

I effectively draw up a list of everything imaginable that could
be in dispute and we work our way through it. For the couple
to find common ground on one item, to some of them seemed
impossible. But generally we do better than that and find that
we can segment the list into particular areas, for example,
children in relation to contact and residence, what are the
housing options, ‘where is everyone going to live’, maintenance
this I can break down by asking the couple to start looking at
their budget sheets and from this we can establish the basic
requirements etc.

It is quite remarkable that once the couple start communicating
they start to lead the way in the conversations and
negotiations. I am a realist and mediation is not the solution
for all couples separating but, for some this ‘one off’ mediation
session helps them to identify the issues and focus on these, if
the dialogue has already been opened who knows.....